I have been in a creative funk all day. I did my typical scouring of the Internet in search for something, anything I could rant, rave, praise or bash, but nothing caught my eye. I had nearly come to the conclusion that I was about to let the NAD and its readers down. Tonight, I just didn't have it in me.
Suddenly at about 10:00 pm, usually a time of peace and quiet in my household, my 10 year old daughter bursts through the living room door, not panicked, sorta giggling, a weird bemused look in her eye, and says 'mommy needs you'. Fair enough, weird request, but why is she so awake? Off I trudge, towards our bedroom, a tad angry, it's late, it's my time of the night, why oh why is everyone in the house still wide awake? I enter the kitchen. Emily laughing, 'what are you doing Zach?' she says. I look towards the kitchen sink, there I see my 6 year old son Zach pissing in the garbage can. My brain goes pbthhh, huh, wah, what the heck is happening, how is this possible? 'Zach, Zach, what are you doing Zach, that is not the toilet, stop!' It was of course way past too late. He had somehow managed to stop peeing on the floor, he was conscious enough to come to the conclusion that the garbage can was a better piss receptacle. Hurray for small miracles. Clean up in aisle six. Oh and have I said fuck yet? No? Oh well then, FUCK!
There you have it, another night in the life of a brand new dad. All this will be fodder for when Zach is older. Ye gods are his future girlfriends going to hear about this. Mean? Perhaps. But how can I not?