It turns out that I have lost the ability to control the weather with my sunglasses. It is that, or I have mastered the skill of controlling the weather with my sunglasses, if so, expect it to be sunny and mild from now until I get bored and yen for thunderstorms. BANG, CRASH, ZIP!
I wonder which car would win in a battle between a Honda Fit and a Ford Focus hatchback? SMUSH!
What sound do fallen leaves make when you scruff your feet in them? SWISH, SWOOSH, SWASH, ZWISH, all the above? Hmmm?
Are the trees whose leaves change color and fall to the ground sooner then most, the weaklings of the bunch? Are they quitters? Were they horribly teased as seedlings? WIMPS!
What does it mean when I ask a 10-year-old to act like a ten-year-old? How is a ten-year-old supposed to act? Is there a definitive guide on the subject? HELP!
Is it normal for a 36-year-old to get an awful urge to jump in the deepest puddles? SPLASH!
Am I weird for thinking that the only bell I would allow on my bicycle would sound like that of the horn of an 18 wheeler. HONK HONK!
It is a dark and stormy night. Where did I put my sunglasses? BOO!
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