Here goes, Goddamn it, I did promise a blurb about the family outing to King's Landing. Ye gad what a crew we where. Amy 9 months pregnant, 2 days overdue. Her master plan was that, perhaps by hiking around King's Landing things might then start moving. (didn't happen) Me, 'whatever works darling' I want to meet that little bugger already. But where were we? - Yes, right, King's Landing - sorry for the diversions. The place itself was a bit of a bore. I am filling the page as best I can. Consider this report as you might processed meat, 75% filler. - Who else? Are you keeping up? Somebody do a head count. - Amy, ready to pop. Me ready for her to pop. The two children aged 10 and 6, who just wanted some pop. Gramps, or pops, I suppose to Amy and Erin. Erin, aunt, sister, daughter, who constantly drank diet pop. -pop goes the weasel- Head count? - If you said 4 adults and 2 and a 9/10ths children, you have been paying better attention than me. More filler, hell, we haven't even entered the village yet. - Oh and no Zach ( the 6 year old) we aren't going in to the gift shop yet. I am bored, he screams. Just wait buddy, it gets worse.
To be fair, the folks at King's Landing do a very good job maintaining and conveying an early 1800s Maritime village. The employees do a fine job staying in character... try as I might to trip up some of the younger villagers, they wouldn't bite. Maybe that is what bothered me about the place. I felt like I was wandering around a set on a huge stage. These villagers weren't real people, they were characters, they were playing a role, they had their spiel, and damn it they were gonna make you listen to it. I hate being lectured and lied to, even if it's for the sake of art and history. - But wait there is more, I think that my life long fear of people in costumes overwhelmed me. I dislike interacting with fictional characters, whether it be Santa Claus, a life sized Mickey Mouse, a Hostess Munchie or an historical town villager. It freaks me out.
Would I recommend a family trip to King's Landing? Of course. It is a neat little spot. The kids liked it. The adults, at least the ones that aren't as socially awkward as I, loved gabbing with the villagers. Go, have fun, but leave the neurotic writer type at home, all he is gonna do is bitch and moan. The bastard.