Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Glenn Beck Paradox

When I first read that Glenn Beck might be going blind, I couldn't help but think that maybe it was due to all the Vicks he puts in his eyes. You know so that he can 'cry' for America. Mean, nasty, I know, but true. To be clear, I am not one to wish blindness on anyone. Not even, say, a pretentious, blowhard like Glenn Beck. I am not spiritual, I am an atheist, and a cynic, but, I do believe it is best to avoid Schadenfreude. Why risk the bad karma of it all? Personally, if I hope for anything, I hope that Glenn Beck does not go blind, that this whole thing was nothing more than a pathetic attempt by a media whore, to grab even more attention. The more Glenn Beck is exposed as a fraud, a hack, and a liar, the better. There in lies the paradox. I dislike Glenn Beck, sure, but I can not morally, or intellectually hope for Glenn Beck to go blind. He wins, in the bizarro world that is Glenn Beck, if he in fact, does go blind in the next year or so. There is no way I want Glenn Beck to win, nope, not ever ever.

As much as we on the left despise Glenn Beck. He that is our Kryptonite. He that is all that is wrong with the universe. We can't hope for him to go blind. We can't feel joy in the fact that he might go blind. Even if we aren't sure what to think of him. He is both morally repugnant, and absurd. And yes every time we think of him, we can't help but chuckle, but it would show a weakness in our belief system, and our cause, to wish ill health on another human being. The paradox lies, not in the hope that Beck goes blind, no, that wouldn't be cool at all. The last thing we on the left need is for Glenn Beck to suddenly become a tragic character. He doesn't need that sort of coverage. There is no way, a man as repugnant, ridiculous, and media savvy, as Glenn Beck, needs a bump in ratings because of an unfortunate medical problem. Heaven help the blind community if Glenn Beck becomes their spokesperson. No, we on the left want Glenn Beck exposed as a fraud. So dear friends, pray, wish, throw quarters in a well, hang horseshoes, and rub your lucky rabbit's foot, hope upon hope for the continued good health of Glenn Beck's eyes.

P.S. As a precaution, keep the Vick's away from your peepers.

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