I am not sure what to think.

What a strange few days it has been. Unhealthy all these concurrent late nights. Sometimes the universe screams. These are those times.

Aside from late night socializing, which despite what some might say, is healthy, if for the soul alone... it's been the news that has been keeping me up at night. So excuse me if this is rambly and almost incoherent, my synapses probably aren't firing right.

Let's start with the madness that was Sunday night. It was around 11, maybe 11:30 when I began seeing Tweets (yes, I get all my breaking news from Twitter. Doesn't everyone these days?) saying that President Obama was about to make an unusual, late night speech from the White House. Then, almost at the very same time, came rumours that Bin Laden was dead. Things steamrolled from there. The world waited and waited. The President's speech was delayed at least an hour. At about maybe 1 am (keep in mind I am on the Canadian East Coast, it's always a little later here), the President confirmed that special forces, acting on creditable intelligence (Wait, what? That exists?) stormed a compound in Pakistan, where it believed Bin Laden was hiding out. After a fire fight, Bin Laden was killed, his body, obtained by American Forces, then dumped in the sea. Wow! Huge!

Like everyone else, that hadn't went to bed early and missed it. I was totally caught up in the moment. Those old, long waned, feelings of idol worship for President Obama returned. For one night, at least, he was a fucking rock star again. It feels awesome when the good guys win. The progressives, did something that could not be poo pooed by the bad guys, the conservatives. The mad right surely couldn't  criticize the President for finally nabbing Bin Laden. There was nothing 'soft on terror' about killing the world's most notorious terrorist. It was a good coupla days for Obama, first he bitch slapped Donald Trump (bad both in an intellectual and hair sense) at the White House Correspondent Dinner, then he gets Bin Laden. Awesome! I was stoked.

The next morning, after digesting the news, I begin to take stock of how I felt, or should feel. Yes, Bin Laden was a horrible person, a wart on the ass of society. But doesn't cheering his death, in fact lessen me as a person? The death and carnage Bin Laden caused, both personally and in response to his actions, are unfathomable. He, even as a symbol, did nothing to further the good of humanity. But if I am going to proclaim to be anti-death penalty, if I am going to call myself a progressive humanist, is it not hypocritical for me to cheer the death of even the worst of humans? That is where I am right now. I am happy that there is some closure. Pity that it took 10 years, 2 Wars, 2 Administrations and an unforgivable amount of lives for America to get her man... but here we are. What's next? I don't know? Is the world a better place without Bin Laden in it? Sure. Will his death ease global tension? That remains to be seen. But there is always hope, right?

Hope, ha! When am I going to learn not to dream so big? Lets move on to the Canadian election. I am an NDP supporter, I have been since the days of Ed Broadbent. They are my party. So how the hell am I supposed to feel right now? The NDP had a historical night on Monday. They won 102 seats, 60 more than they have ever won before. They are the official opposition, for the first time in their history. Amazing stuff. Achievements I am proud of. But, the news was not all good, nope, not even close. The Liberal Party and the Bloc Quebecois imploded. The NDP surge was unable to stop a Conservative majority, which, frankly, was the last thing that anybody, on the left (all 60.38% of us) wanted. Election night was a weird night. It began with hope and excitement. I knew my guys were going to kick ass, and kick ass they did. But, yes, again with the but(s), my mood quickly soured as I came to the realization that the rest of the left were a no-show. The NDP alone could not stop the Tories from winning a majority. The worst thing that could happen, happened. How's a staunch NDP supporter supposed to feel? It's like sitting through the latest Bad News Bears offering, but instead of the Bears winning with 2 out in the 9th inning, they struck out. It's like hope was kick in the balls by evil. I am not quite off the mat. The bad guys won. I am sorry Canada, me and the rest of my ilk tried, we really did. Would apathy have been better?

So that's where I am. A little gobsmacked by the last week. Victories and defeats, moral and philosophical questions left unanswered. I need to take a break, reload, learn how to fight again. Hope and progress can't be held down long, we'll win, things will get better, I promise.