Here I sit, the sun bursting through living room windows. XTC's Dear God, blasting out of laptop speakers. What's next? Maybe a pot of coffee, I am not sure I can face the blinking cursor yet. It all seems so daunting. I feel like I am above my head, like I am drowning in a sea of words without structure. Someone please throw me a life preserver. Someone give me a project. I am devoid of inspiration, I am tempted to say, fuck it all, and play video games.
I return for the kitchen, coffee brewing. A big chunk of cheese consumed. I wonder why I put conditioner in my hair, all it does is make it puffy and even more unmanageable. Yes, folks, that's how my brain works. It flits from this to that.
I must avoid Twitter, thankfully the place is as sparse as the audience at a Pauly Shore movie. I swear I hear crickets. Then there is Facebook, the news sites, fantasy sports, You Tube, there is time suckage with every click. I must avoid the Web, lest I get tangled, lest the huge man-eating spider of distraction devours me whole.
The coffee must be brewed, back to the kitchen I go. Oh and ya, I just checked in on Twitter. Goddamn it I am weak. The coffee will help, but I wish it was red wine. Bitch, bitch, bitch, why the malaise? Truthfully, ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, I am not that down. This is just a way for me to get out of a creative funk. I try and write through it. I describe it, I try and make other folks feel for my situation. Writer's block, of course, is nothing new, nor is it unique to me, all of us that like to think we have a way with words, fall into the abyss, all of us lose our way sometimes.
So yes, the sun still shines, and I have typed a few words. Thistles & Weeds, by Mumford & Sons, will be the song blasted in closing. Once again I avoided the file that contains my novel. I just can't face that beast today. I have also ignored the unfinished post about the failure of American liberalism, does anyone really care about that on a sunny Sunday? And yet, I have written, I have pounded, if only for a few minutes, like a monkey with keyboard. The result, is nothing but a bitch, a whine, and a lament about writer's block. A subject I have tackled a few times on this blog. A topic, I bet, that I will write about again. A malady to which there is no real cure. One can only get through it using whatever trick they think might work best. Today, I bitched.
Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but... I feel that I should be heard
Loud and clear. We all need a big reduction in amount of tears ~ Dear God, XTC
Spare me your judgments and spare me your dreams,
Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams ~ Thistle & Weeds, Mumford & Sons