Seals, Perez Hilton and PETA versus little old me

I done and gone and picked a fight with PETA. I was hoping to pick a fight with Perez Hilton. That was my intention. It has been a goal of mine to get into a blog war with Perez for a few months now. I dare him to go and draw a dick on one of my pictures. I double dog dare him. Hey, any publicity is good publicity, right? Bring it Perez, I am ready whenever you are, you coward, you lightweight.

Back to PETA. Here is how it all began. Last night I was zooming around the web, bored, uninspired, in search of fodder, when I ended up on Perez Hilton's site (I am like a June bug, I swear). On his site I found a post where El Perezedente had thrown his support behind PETA and their fight against the Canadian Seal hunt (Perez hearts seals). As a joke I wrote, save the seals from Perez Hilton and PETA. Then I went to bed.

I had forgotten about the whole blessed thing. I figured I had made a bit of a funny before crashing. I didn't think anyone even noticed. Life, being busy as it is, kept me away from the laptop until this afternoon. At first the only reaction I had regarding my seal Tweet was from an anarchist friend on mine, who I think, thought I was condoning the seal hunt. Let me set the record straight I AM NOT PRO-SEAL HUNT. I think it is a horrible program, especially the bit where the Canadian government gets involved. I do not have any problems with the Northern Native communities hunting seal for food and skin, nope that seems only natural to me. As for culls and Environment Canada trying to control populations and ecosystems, well I think that human statistical interference in nature is bound to fail. I am a firm believer in letting nature take its course. If the seals are over consuming cod, so be it, there will be a shortage of cod, the seal population will suffer, their numbers will stabilize.

I tried to explain to my friend that my original Tweet had really nothing to do with the Canadian seal hunt, it was merely a jab at Perez Hilton (rah, rah, rah cause celebre) and PETA (who doesn't like to make fun of PETA?). It was later in the afternoon that I received my first Tweet from PETA. I was giddy. Hurray, I am stirring the pot, I have pissed off the self-righteous. I knew today was gonna be my day.

PETA's opening Tweet went like this (excuses in advance for their spelling and grammar, they are animal rescuers not writers): "What's complex bout bashing baby seals in the head & bludgeoning them 2 death? ANYONE can understand how WRONG that is". To which I responded by sending this link (Thank you CBC) and asking them to educate themselves. They responded by sending me the infamous seal clubbing video from the 1980's. The obviously hadn't read the link I had sent. Seems they have no need for education, because, and I quote: "No need 2 educate myself, I already know that killing animals is NEVER ok! Bottom line: Animals r not ours 2 wear or eat". You see PETA has morality on their side, they are right, everyone else is wrong...excuse me while I fire up the barbecue.

On it went. I told them that I wasn't in the business of dictating moral codes. I told them that I am not pro-seal hunt, that I thought parts of it were barbaric. They reiterated that they are working for a cause greater than themselves. I agreed that animals rights was a noble cause.

I told them in to most gentle way possible that the adults aren't listening. Their cozying up to celebrities and their over-the-top marketing campaigns only work on self-righteous teenagers and college kids. At a grassroots level PETA has had some success, but their larger-than-life public face turns off the powers that be. Hell their public face turns me off and well I am pretty hip, I am as liberal as they come.

PETA if you are listening, get over yourselves. You act like snotty know-it-all teenagers. I am speaking to you as an adult, the gig is up. If you want to sit at the grown-up table and have a grown up conversation about the things that bother you, you are going to have to learn to talk and argue like an adult.

Class dismissed.